This week, Girls in Tech had a phenomenal turnout at our first annual all-female Catalyst Conference. When people asked me which panel I enjoyed the most, my answer was truthfully, “All of them.” That said, as a business development gal, I found Katherine Barr’s workshop on “The Art of Negotiation” the most interesting.

A partner at MDV, Katherine started the workshop by asking the audience to pair up, and assume the arm wrestling position. (Visualize a full room of 400+ women poised to arm wrestle.) Next were the instructions: Without speaking to each other, know that each time you move your partner’s arm all the way down, you earn a million dollars. At this point, it was clear as day to me that we would both see-saw each other’s arms down as quickly as possible to earn the most money. But my partner didn’t see it that way. She held her arm firm. After struggling for a bit, I signaled to her with a smile, and a couple of nods, then loosened my hand, and we were on our way to earning millions. Surprisingly, others in the audience around us sat at a standstill.
For the next exercise, we received handouts that included a Negotiation Preparation Template and a fictional negotiation scenario that audience pairs role-played. The preparation template included the below framework to kick-start creative problem solving and brain-storming before entering a negotiation.
1.) Interests — Identify Yours, Theirs, and Relevant third parties’ interests
– Do your research and know what is important to your counterpart
2.) Options – What different options meet the various interests of all parties?
– Being CREATIVE is the key to successful negotiations
– Options allow people to move away from cold hard cash, and stubborn positions
– Creative brainstorming opens people up to the possibilities.
3.) Legitimacy – What objective standards can be used during negotiations to assess fairness?
4.) Alternatives – Identify the alternatives available if you don’t close this deal
– Knowing your alternatives gives you the power to walk away from the table
– Without alternatives, you may feel trapped and be persuaded into a bad deal
Additional tips to keep in mind during negotiations:
1.) Commitment – Be clear on what you are committing to
2.) Relationship – Be mindful that everything you do before and after the negotiation affects the relationship
3.) Communication – Clearly communicate and test assumptions to understand each other’s interest
What resonated the most about the workshop was Katherine’s emphasis on focusing negotiations on interests rather than positions. With positions, negotiations tend to be more territorial and ego-based, i.e. if you win, I lose. When focusing on interests, everyone can walk away feeling like a winner.





































January 29th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
For those of us who missed the conference, thank you for the review. I have to say these rules apply to just about any relationship: work, men, kids… ect.
January 29th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
Tina,
I very much enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing. I wish so much that I had been able to attend the conference. It sounds like it was a smashing success.
Best regards,
Candace
(Boise GIT)
January 29th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
I was at the event. While I negotiate business terms frequently, it is always important to remember the point of interests. As in life in general, many issues could be avoided if we discovered what was motivating people versus assuming we know what they wanted.
January 30th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
Love it! Thanks, Tina — And, what great exercises: I will definitely keep this in mind for future use ~ Especially the focus on *interests*.
January 31st, 2010 at 1:18 am
Thanks for all your comments. I’m glad you found this write-up helpful. Hopefully you’ll be able to make it to our next event. In the meantime, I’ll do my best to continue sharing lessons learned with you!